Paradigm of Grief
I’ve had a horrible last couple weeks, just missing my girl. I feel such pain, staying up all night second guessing everything we did for her, decisions we made for her, wondering what bad karma I brought upon us to have to not have her. I miss her so much. I feel cheated.
I understand this is unreasonable, just can’t clear my head of it.
I ran across some tweets regarding grief that just explained it so well. It’s good to know others struggle the same way (you know what I mean) . This is a really elegant explanation:
In the beginning, the ball is huge. You can’t move the box without the ball hitting the pain button. It rattles around on its own in there and hits the button over and over. You can’t control it – it just keeps hurting. Sometimes it seems unrelenting.
Over time, the ball gets smaller. It hits the button less and less but when it does, it hurts just as much. It’s better because you can function day to day more easily. But the downside is that the ball randomly hits that button when you least expect it.
My ball is huge now–or maybe it shrank, but is stuck over the pain button. I am trying to make it move soon.
4 comments so far
9:31 pm - 7-7-2019
(((Hugs))) Dawn…. had to wait and collect myself. Access has been off and on, we are on our way back home from visiting my family.
I know that box pretty well, been missing my Rosie something fierce. Her angelversary is coming soon and everywhere I look lately she is there.
I wish I could take it away but the best I can offer is a ginormous hug and much love.
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Much love,
Jackie
1:28 am - 7-9-2019
I found this saying when I lost my mother.
***When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure**(
1:31 am - 7-9-2019
I found this saying when I lost my mother.
***When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure***
3:02 am - 7-9-2019
I loooove your car!!!! And, of course, your backseat passengers are adorable!!
Thank you so much for sharing this spot on description of grief. The person who wrote that “gets it”. And those of us who are reading this “get it”.
Themonly way through grief is, unfortunately, to feel it, do not
deny it, Anh yes, sometimes not feels like you’re stuck in grief, but that’s part of moving through it. Some looking at a picture that makes you smile helps get unstuck…sometimes, but not always.
If you are up for it, this would be a nice support piece to post in the forums
We all were so privileged to travel by your side with Fallon. She TRULY, TRULY, TRULY gave everyone hope and showed everyone jow to live life to the fullest with the hoomans she adored!
Oh, and speaking of pictures that make us smile, the ones you posted in Father’s Day were priceless❤ Precious memories to remind you what a happy and well loved girl Fallon was…and is.💖
Hugs
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!